Can I be with this? Cultivating resilience.
What a year 2020 has been so far. We've all been asked to expand our capacity to be with pain, change, and uncertainty in these turbulent times.
As Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha wrote: “Every challenge you encounter in life is a fork in the road. You have the choice to choose which way to go - backward, forward, breakdown or breakthrough.”
We can actively cultivate resilience in the face of life's challenges. With mindfulness and compassion, we can be with and effectively navigate more and more of the experiences that life presents to us. We can bounce back and recover ourselves when we lose our ground.
When we encounter difficult emotions or experience, we can take a breath and ask: Can I be with this? Gradually and with kindness, we can learn to stay with our inner experience and expand our capacity to respond intentionally.
Over the past few months, I've been asking myself this question many times a day, and I've found it creates more inner space to carry on.
Below are a few reminders and practices that I've found helpful:
Change is the only constant. With mindfulness, everything becomes more workable. This too shall pass.
Remember that difficulty and suffering are a part of life and all beings want to be well and loved. We are never alone in our experience of hurt.
See crises as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable challenges. We can learn to surf the waves and realize that everything is workable.
Be kind with yourself and others. Start close in tending to your own emotions and needs. Pay attention to the demands of the physical body and rest, nourish, and move as needed.
Cultivate self-trust and a positive view of yourself. Listen to your own inner guidance and work with your inner critic. Self-compassion can be very supportive.
Be in community with others. Accept help when needed and offer help to others, when possible. Contribute to and stay engaged with family, friends, colleagues, and community.
Take action in small and bigger ways towards creating a more compassionate, equitable and beautiful world.
Everything becomes more workable as we stay open, flexible, and connected to the bigger picture.
How have you been cultivating resilience? What practices might you try?
Below are a few more resources that I hope may be helpful for you.
With love,
Sarah-Marie
Resources
[LISTENING, WATCHING & LEARNING]
[Podcast] Navigating Loss Without Closure with Pauline Boss and Krista Tippett
[Book] When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön
[Podcast] Devendra Banhart with Krista Tippett on 'When Things Fall Apart'
[Book] Consolations by David Whyte
[Book] Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
[PRACTICE]
Guided Meditations
RAIN of Self-Compassion [16:34] to work with difficult emotions and cultivate self-compassion
Self-Compassion Break [10:42] to work with a difficulty in your life
Coming Home to Presence [16:59]
Lovingkindness for Self & Others [19:51]