What will you do to make the upcoming year as good as, if not better than, this year?

When I heard this question deck prompt during a holiday party this week, my initial mental chatter was: Are you kidding? As good as 2020? That’s a low bar. 2021 better be MUCH better!

But then I remembered my renewed commitment to look for what’s good.

As I reflected on 2020, I thought of the many things I’m grateful for: good health; a strong body and mind; family, friends, and community; the opportunity to do meaningful work; an abundance of opportunities to learn and grow; enough resources to live well; collective healing and reckoning; the beauty and resilience of nature; access to clean air and water; …

Gratitude is a powerful antidote to our mind’s negativity bias. Judging and focusing on challenges comes easily. When we’re stressed and contracted, it’s much harder to access gratitude. For most of us, seeing the good takes effort.

The effort is worth it as gratitude has many benefits. According to research by well-known gratitude researcher Robert Emmons, gratitude can increase joy, attentiveness, energy and determination; improve sleep; lower symptoms of physical pain; and make us feel more connected to and willing to support others.

While we can’t force gratitude, we can set an intention to be present for moments of gratitude and appreciation when they come naturally. We can also actively cultivate gratitude through intentional practices. The more we practice gratitude, the more natural it becomes.

How can we intentionally cultivate gratitude?

Below are eight simple ideas for cultivating gratitude:

Express your gratitude to others in the moment. Say “thank you” to others as often as possible.
Think of three things you're grateful for after you wake up or before you go to sleep.
Send someone a note of gratitude and appreciation.
Take a moment to share one thing you’re grateful for at dinner.
Do a daily gratitude exchange with a friend to both share what you’re grateful for that day.
Keep a gratitude journal (see below).
Do a gratitude meditation (see below).
Write a gratitude letter (see below).

What are you grateful for? How are you cultivating gratitude and looking for what’s good?

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources

[PRACTICES]

Gratitude Journal

This is one of my go-to practices. Every day write down three things you are grateful for in your life in a journal. To keep thinking of different things you’re grateful for, you may consider the following categories: relationships (both present & past that have nurtured you), opportunities, something great that happened or you saw, and simple things close to you.

Gratitude Meditation

Find a comfortable position. Bring your attention to your heart center. How’s your heart? Does it feel open or closed? As you inhale, visualize breathing in kindness. With each exhale, allow any negative thoughts or worries to be released. Continue to breathe in kindness and breathe out any negativity that is ready to be released.

Reflect on some blessing in your life: a person, a group of people, a thing in your life you’re grateful for. Invite an image of that person or situation. Take a moment to silently send a thought of appreciation to that person, or to life for that situation, with a simple, sincere “thank you.” Let your awareness fully experience your gratitude, taking time to feel in your body the energy of that good thing in your life.

Do this with two or so other blessings and notice how you feel. Let yourself be filled with gratitude.

You may choose to express your gratitude directly to people who've come to mind in this practice.

Gratitude Letter

Recommended by psychologist Martin Seligman.

Write a gratitude letter. Pick someone who you have a lot of gratitude for and write a letter appreciating all the ways they’ve contributed to your life. Then, either send it to them or better yet, read it out loud to them. Even if you don’t share the letter, it has an impact on our wellbeing. (If the person has passed away you could still try writing a letter to them.)

I sent about a dozen gratitude letters years ago when I graduated college to thank people who were my biggest supporters along that journey. While it took me several days to write the letters, it filled me with tremendous gratitude for all the people in my life and was a beautiful way to acknowledge them. I'll have to do another round soon.