Start close in - taking a self-compassion break 💗

 
Start close in. Start with kindness.

“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time… Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being soft and unrepeatable.” - Mark Nepo, from The Book of Awakening

I’ve been spent the past 10 days on a silent meditation retreat (at home!) “ungloving” myself to feel what’s real and alive. To pause, listen inwardly, and be as kind and gentle as possible with whatever called for my attention underneath my protective coverings. With nothing to do but be, there was no shortage of tough stuff to explore (especially in these intense times!). The familiar stories of being deeply flawed, undeserving, unworthy of love and connection until I’m “perfect.”

I’ve realized anew how easy it is to forget the truth of who we are – our innate goodness and belonging. It’s truly a tragedy how much time we spend trying to cover up our insecurity and be what we think others want us to be. As Galway Kinnell writes, “sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness.”

I always find it helpful to remember our shared humanity: We all have messy lives and carry wounds of not feeling loved, accepted, seen, understood, and safe to varying degrees.

As someone who’s never felt that I fit neatly into any one community, I love this reminder by Sebene Selassie: “Weirdos. Will. Slay. Because not fitting in to any one community is a super power. But only if you choose to fit into yourself first.” (here’s a beautiful example of what that can look like )

Fitting into ourselves first takes self-acceptance and self-compassion. We start close in and bring awareness and kindness to our difficult emotions, experience, and hurt parts. We tend to ourselves first so we can better widen the circles of our compassion outward and support others.

One powerful way to cultivate self-compassion is through the practice of RAIN. It invites us to be with our emotions and actual lived experience with mindfulness and compassion. The acronym RAIN stands for:

  1. Recognize: Seeing clearly what's going on and how we are stuck inside an experience;

  2. Allow: Creating space to be with the experience just as it is;

  3. Investigate: Moving from the story and beliefs to getting in touch with the actual lived experience, with kindness; and

  4. Nurture: Offering kindness inwardly.

Here's a ~16 min guided RAIN practice.

I let it RAIN over and over again during the retreat and found more spaciousness, freedom, and a deep sense of love and belonging.

May you always remember your loveliness. And if you don't believe it, I'll believe it for you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

 

Let's be human together 💗

 
Permission to be human

"'Free' is not free from feelings, but free to feel each one and let it move on, unafraid of the movement of life." - Jack Kornfield 

These are challenging and unsettling times in so many ways. You may feel like it’s all too much to be with at times. You may be done with 2020. You're not alone. 

And yet we’re alive in this moment right here. This moment is calling us to be with what is. Now is (still) worth showing up for.

The way out isn’t to run away or numb. What we resist persists.

Resistance is how we naturally protect ourselves against vulnerability. We cannot selectively numb though. When we block the grief, fear and anger, we also block the joy, love and our sense of aliveness. 

So give yourself permission to feel. Let the emotions move through you. They have a beginning, middle, and end. Exhaustion happens when we get stuck in them - when we don’t complete the cycle. 

May we let these times be a teacher of who we really are - of presence and love - and what matters most. Rumi wrote: “This turn toward what you deeply love saves you.”

What or who do you deeply love?

We’re all human. We’re all trying to figure it out. And we can’t do this alone. We all need spaces where we can be witnessed in our humanity. Where we can make room to be with the life that's here. 

What are these spaces for you? 

Below are a few resources that I hope might be supportive for you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources 

[PRACTICES] 

Thanking Your Emotions 

When you notice a difficult emotion arising as you go about your day, you can stop, take a conscious breath, and say "Thank you for trying to protect me. Thank you for trying to take care of me. I am OK for now."
 

RAIN of Self-Compassion

Through the practice of RAIN, we can bring mindfulness and compassion to difficult emotions and experience. It invites us to be with our emotions and actual lived experience with self-compassion. The acronym RAIN stands for:

  • Recognize: Seeing clearly what's going on and how we are stuck inside an experience;

  • Allow: Creating space to be with the experience just as it is; 

  • Investigate: Moving from the story and beliefs to getting in touch with the actual lived experience, with kindness; and 

  • Nurture: Offering kindness inwardly. 

Here's a ~16 min guided RAIN practice.  
 

[POEM] 

Excerpt from "Go to the Limits of Your Longing" by Rainer Maria Rilke
 
"Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand."

Guided Meditations 

 

Beware inner fake news 💭

 
Beware inner fake news.jpg

We live in such polarizing times. There's a saying that goes: "The world is divided into those who think they're right." And that's the whole saying. 
 
As I explored in last week’s letter, we all have an inner critic that focuses on what’s wrong with us, others, and our circumstances. I think of it as inner fake news.  
 
Believing “something is wrong with me” divides us against ourselves. Believing “something is wrong with you” divides us against each other. When we feel inferior or superior, we lose touch with the intrinsic worthiness of everyone. We are not connected to a deep sense of belonging to ourselves, each other, and nature.
 
In these divisive and challenging times, it’s so easy to fall into judgment. I catch myself every day.
 
Gandhi said: “Our beliefs create our thoughts. And our thoughts create our feelings. And the thoughts and feelings create our behavior. And our behavior creates our destiny.”

Our limiting and fear-based beliefs stem from our childhoods, generations past, and our culture. I grew up with a deeply held belief that once I become “perfect,” everything would be alright. I’d finally be worthy of love and belonging. I behaved in ways consistent with that belief (being in perfectionist mode) and ended up getting responses that reaffirmed it. So we get caught in a cycle – our beliefs lead to behaviors that strengthen them in turn.
 
The first step in freeing ourselves from limiting and fear-based beliefs is to become aware of them. When we notice we are getting caught in emotional reactivity, we can ask: What am I believing right now? And we can pause and bring awareness to what's actually going on in our lived experience.
 
We can realize that our limiting beliefs are real but not true. And we can find out who we really are underneath them. We can trust the goodness, love, and presence that is our being. 

Whatever we practice grows stronger. We can actively replace our inner critic and limiting beliefs with a kinder and wiser response. 
 
What would your life be like if you didn’t believe anything was wrong with you (and others)?

Below are a few resources that I hope might be supportive for you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources 

[PRACTICES] 

Self-Reflection: Investigating limiting beliefs  

The following questions, adapted from Byron Katie's work, can be helpful for investigating and loosening the grip of limiting beliefs: 

  1. What am I believing? 

  2. Is this really true? 

  3. What is it like to live with this belief? 

  4. What does the vulnerability (hurt/fear) under the belief need? 

  5. What stops me from letting go of this belief? 

  6. What would my life be like without this belief? 

  7. Who (or what) would I be if I no longer lived with this belief? 

Thanking Your Inner Critic

When you notice your inner critic as you go about your day, you can stop, take a conscious breath, and say "Thank you for trying to protect me. I've got this. I am OK for now." You can focus your attention on your breath, sound, or the sensations in your body to not get hijacked by the inner critic/judge and come back to the present moment.

Poem

Excerpt from “Peace is This Moment Without Judgment” by Dorothy Hunt 
“Peace is this moment without judgment.

That is all. This moment in the Heart-space

where everything that is is welcome.

Peace is this moment without thinking

that it should be some other way,

that you should feel some other thing,

that your life should unfold according to your plans. 
 
Peace is this moment without judgment,

this moment in the heart-space where

everything that is is welcome.”

Guided Meditations 

 

Free yourself from the critic within ✨

 
Befriend your inner critic

Yesterday I received an unexpected blast from the past. A former classmate of mine from Germany sent me our 7th grade class photo after rediscovering it while cleaning out the basement.
 
As I looked at the image of my 12-year-old self, I felt a wave of tenderness wash over me. I didn’t like myself very much and felt like a total misfit in my life. I was quiet, nerdy, and athletic with a mysterious vibe (I used to disappear to visit family in the US each summer which stirred up some rumors). I hid my insecurity behind my cool US clothes and a veil of silence. I had a deeply held belief that once I became “perfect,” everything would be fine. I’d finally be worthy of love and belonging.
 
That belief helped me survive my childhood and push myself to accomplish things. It was also deeply limiting to my unfolding and fulfillment as a human being. I wasted a lot of mental and emotional energy to fulfill the relentless standards of my inner critic; carried a lot of stress and tension in my body; limited possibilities to contribute and learn; and limited my authentic self-expression. I was terrified of failure and rejection.
 
We all have an inner critic regardless of our circumstances or upbringing. It had an original survival function to keep us safe physically and emotionally. It often replays old messages from childhood about what we need to do to be worthy of love and acceptance. It focuses on what’s “wrong” with us, others, and our circumstances. It gets us into inferior and superior comparisons. It causes much of our feelings of guilt, regret, shame, anxiety, anger, and disappointment. It limits our learning and taking risks to do something new or different.
 
How do we free ourselves from the inner critic?
 
The most effective way I’ve found to respond to self-judgment is to recognize it, have compassion for it, and replace it with a kinder response. We can turn to the inner critic knowing that it’s a worried part of us that wants to keep us safe. We can say: “Thank you for trying to protect me. I’m ok for now. I’ve got this.” When a part of us feels seen, it can relax. We can focus our attention on our breath, sound, or the sensations in our body to not get hijacked and come back to the present moment.
 
It’s been a long journey since 7th grade. My inner critic and drive for perfection still sometimes get the better of me. Now though, I deeply know that I’m worthy of love. Just like you are. I’ve learned to befriend and accept the inner critic and don’t believe everything they say anymore. I've realized that I can see the goodness below my conditioning and accept where I'm at while acknowledging all the ways I yet have to grow. I’ve learned to feel the fear of failure and rejection and do things anyway.
 
If you struggle with your inner critic, know that you’re not alone. Befriending and freeing ourselves from the inner critic is within our reach. 

The world needs you fully alive and free to make your contribution now more than ever.
 
Below are a few resources that I hope may be supportive for you.
 
With love,
Sarah-Marie

Resources 

[PRACTICES] 

Self-Observation: Patterns of Self-Judgment/Inner Critic

To deepen your awareness of your inner critic, I invite you to reflect and journal on the following:  

  1. What judgments did you make about yourself?

  2. What judgments did you make about others? 

  3. What circumstances, events or relationships were associated with these judgments? 

  4. In what ways was your judgment grounded? 

  5. What were the impacts of your judgments?

  6. What pattern(s) of judgment(s) are you beginning to notice?

  7. What action will you take from what you observed in this exercise?

Thanking Your Inner Critic

When you notice your inner critic as you go about your day, you can stop, take a conscious breath, and say "Thank you for trying to protect me. I've got this. I am OK for now." You can focus your attention on your breath, sound, or the sensations in your body to not get hijacked by the inner critic/judge and come back to the present moment.

Poem

Excerpt from “Awakening Now” by Danna Faulds

““I’m not worthy, I’m afraid, and my motives aren’t pure.

I’m not perfect, and surely I haven’t practiced nearly enough.

My meditation isn’t deep, and my prayers are sometimes insincere.

I still chew my fingernails, and the refrigerator isn’t clean.”

Do you value your reasons for staying small more than the light shining through the open door?

Forgive yourself.

Now is the only time you have to be whole.

Guided Meditations 

 

What's on the other side of your comfort zone?

 
Befriend Your Discomfort

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” - Anaïs Nin

What stands between you and your most important contribution? 

As a wise mentor told me, "this is no time for playing small." Ruth Bader Ginsberg didn't play small. May we step up and carry forward the torch. In these challenging times, we need all of our gifts and contributions more than ever, whether in big or small ways.

Having a long history with "hiding until I'm ready," I made a commitment to take the exquisite risk of being seen in service of my purpose. The more I stand in the truth that it's not about me at all, the more I'm free to create a context of healing, belonging, and contribution for others.

I've kept this line by David Whyte as a daily reminder: "To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others." 

Leaning into purpose is not comfortable but even more so is not leaning in.  

We all can get in our own way. We avoid things that could move us closer to our contribution and learning goals because they are uncomfortable. For me, it's typically things that bring up the possibility of rejection, incompetence, conflict, or failure. And the emotions I'm feeling are fear, anxiety, and shame accompanied by tightness in the chest and throat area.

Depending on the thing we're avoiding, we may divert our attention through self-judgment (my #1 go-to), judging and blaming others, rumination, worrying, questioning everything about our life, addictive behaviors, victim mindset, projects that suddenly seem urgent, etc. 

The impacts are massive. We limit our contribution, learning, and growth. We carry stress and diminish our sense of presence and aliveness. We waste vast amounts of mental and emotional energy. We may carry a sense of shame and guilt for letting others and ourselves down. The list goes on.

How might we befriend our discomfort and overcome resistance? 

In the long run, avoiding things we know are important is always more painful than facing and working through the discomfort.

Rather than seeing discomfort and difficult emotions as problems, we can open to the experience and let them move through. As Jack Kornfield writes: "Free" is not free from feelings, but free to feel each one and let it move on, unafraid of the movement of life." And we can bring kindness and self-compassion to our experience and remind ourselves that it's part of being human to want to avoid discomfort. 

Then we can re-anchor ourselves in our goal or intention for how we want to contribute or what we want to learn. And do the work. 

How's life calling you to contribute? What's the work that needs doing? What's worth risking being seen for? 

The world needs you and your contribution. 

Below are a few resources that I hope may be supportive for you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

 

Resources 

[PRACTICES] 

Self-Reflection

  1. What are the things that you routinely avoid that would move you closer to your goals? What are the things you know you need to do but are making you most uncomfortable or anxious?  

  2. What thoughts and fears come to mind when you think of those things?

  3. What emotions or sensations arise?  

  4. What's the impact on you or others of avoiding those things? 


Power Hour

Purpose: To make progress on something important you've been avoiding. 

  1. Block off a 1-2 hour time period and eliminate potential distractions as much as possible.

  2. Write down your inner critic's chatter and any fears related to the activity.

  3. Write down your intention or goal for the activity. Why does it matter? What could you learn? 

  4. Set a timer for how long you want to focus on the activity and start working. 

  5. As you work, write down any fears and mind chatter that comes up. Reground yourself in your purpose/goal as needed.

  6. At the end, reflect on the experience. How did it go? What did you learn? What do you want to focus on in your next power hour? 

Pro tip: To make this even more effective, do power hours with an accountability buddy. :)


RAIN

Purpose: Through the practice of RAIN, we can bring mindfulness and compassion to difficult emotions and experience. It invites us to be with our emotions and actual lived experience with self-compassion.

The acronym RAIN stands for:

  • Recognize: Seeing clearly what's going on and how we are stuck inside an experience;

  • Allow: Creating space to be with the experience just as it is; 

  • Investigate: Moving from the story and beliefs to getting in touch with the actual lived experience, with kindness; and 

  • Nurture: Offering kindness inwardly. 

Here's a ~16 min guided RAIN practice. 

 

[READING & LISTENING] 

Below are a few resources that I've found helpful in my own journey of befriending discomfort and overcoming resistance. I hope some of them may be supportive for you as well.  

 

[Quote] 

“Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do.

Remember our rule of thumb: The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.

Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance. Therefore the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and to the growth of our soul. That's why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there'd be no Resistance.”

- Steven Pressfield, The War of Art 


Guided Meditations 

 

 

Remember the gold ✨

 
Remember the gold

"Perfection is not a prerequisite for anything but pain." - Danna Faulds 


There's a 10 feet tall Buddha statue at a monastery in Thailand. It was made from plaster and not particularly beautiful. A number of years ago, cracks appeared in the statue during a long dry period. The monks brought their pen flashlights to look inside the crack to maybe find out something about how the statue was built. When they shined the light into every crack, a flash of gold was reflected back. So, they chipped away at the plaster, which was just a covering, and rediscovered the largest pure solid gold statue of the Buddha in all of Southeast Asia. (Thai monks had covered the statue several hundred years earlier to protect it from an attack by the Burmese army.)  

Much in the same way, our layers of conditioning form our protective covering to try to shield ourselves from hurt. We are all products of our conditioning through our childhood experiences, our biology, and our culture. In the process, we can forget the gold underneath - who we really are. We start believing we're the covering, the ego-driven self. We believe the judgments of our inner critic and might feel shame, unworthiness, a sense of being deeply flawed, ... 

I've been examining and chipping away at the plaster for years. It's been a continuous practice to build my self-compassion muscles and free myself from the grip of my scathing inner critic. 

Who would I be if I didn't believe anything was wrong with me? 

I've been holding that question, which I first learned from Tara Brach. It's been a powerful inquiry. 

Recognizing that it's our conditioning, we can honestly see and work with our biases and counterproductive behaviors. We can treat ourselves with self-compassion and kindness as we work towards realizing our full potential. 

Who would you be if you didn't believe anything was wrong with you? 

Remember the gold. 

Below are a few resources to support you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources  

Poem

Excerpt from “Awakening Now” by Danna Faulds

““I’m not worthy, I’m afraid, and my motives aren’t pure.

I’m not perfect, and surely I haven’t practiced nearly enough.

My meditation isn’t deep, and my prayers are sometimes insincere.

I still chew my fingernails, and the refrigerator isn’t clean.”

Do you value your reasons for staying small more than the light shining through the open door?

Forgive yourself.

Now is the only time you have to be whole.

Now is the sole moment that exists to live in the light of your true Self.

Perfection is not a prerequisite for anything but pain.

Please, oh please, don’t continue to believe in your disbelief.

This is the day of your awakening.”

Thanking Your Inner Critic

When you notice your inner critic as you go about your day, you can stop, take a conscious breath, and say "Thank you for trying to protect me. I've got this. I am OK for now." You can focus your attention on your breath, sound, or the sensations in your body to not get hijacked by the inner critic/judge and come back to the present moment.

Guided Meditations 

 

Can I be with this? Cultivating resilience.

 
Can I be with this?.jpg
 

What a year 2020 has been so far. We've all been asked to expand our capacity to be with pain, change, and uncertainty in these turbulent times.

As Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha wrote: “Every challenge you encounter in life is a fork in the road. You have the choice to choose which way to go - backward, forward, breakdown or breakthrough.”

We can actively cultivate resilience in the face of life's challenges. With mindfulness and compassion, we can be with and effectively navigate more and more of the experiences that life presents to us. We can bounce back and recover ourselves when we lose our ground.

When we encounter difficult emotions or experience, we can take a breath and ask: Can I be with this? Gradually and with kindness, we can learn to stay with our inner experience and expand our capacity to respond intentionally.

Over the past few months, I've been asking myself this question many times a day, and I've found it creates more inner space to carry on. 

Below are a few reminders and practices that I've found helpful:  

  1. Change is the only constant. With mindfulness, everything becomes more workable. This too shall pass. 

  2. Remember that difficulty and suffering are a part of life and all beings want to be well and loved. We are never alone in our experience of hurt.  

  3. See crises as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable challenges. We can learn to surf the waves and realize that everything is workable.  

  4. Be kind with yourself and others. Start close in tending to your own emotions and needs. Pay attention to the demands of the physical body and rest, nourish, and move as needed. 

  5. Cultivate self-trust and a positive view of yourself. Listen to your own inner guidance and work with your inner critic. Self-compassion can be very supportive.

  6. Be in community with others. Accept help when needed and offer help to others, when possible. Contribute to and stay engaged with family, friends, colleagues, and community.  

  7. Take action in small and bigger ways towards creating a more compassionate, equitable and beautiful world. 

Everything becomes more workable as we stay open, flexible, and connected to the bigger picture. 
 

How have you been cultivating resilience? What practices might you try?

Below are a few more resources that I hope may be helpful for you. 

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources

[LISTENING, WATCHING & LEARNING] 

[PRACTICE]  

Guided Meditations 

 

Start close in. Start with kindness. 💗

 
Start close in. Start with kindness.

If you would grow to your best self
Be patient, not demanding
Accepting, not condemning
Nurturing, not withholding
Self-marveling, not belittling
Gently guiding, not pushing and punishing
For you are more sensitive than you know
... accept, respect, and attend your sensitivity
A flower cannot be opened with a hammer.

From the poem "If You Would Grow - Shine the Light Of Loving Self-Care On Yourself" by Daniel F. Mead

For many years, I've had impossibly high expectations for myself and a relentless inner critic pointing out all the ways I was falling short. I believed being harsh with myself was the way to grow and become my best self. In a way, I was my own worst enemy without even realizing it. 

Learning to accept myself just as I am and treat myself with kindness has been a life-changing journey for me. I've realized that I can see the goodness and accept where I'm at while acknowledging all the ways I yet have to grow. For example, I can be kind with myself as I do the inner and outer work to contribute to dismantling systems of oppression. 

As Jack Kornfield said, "if your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." We have to start close in. 

So how do we cultivate self-compassion and kindness? 

Self-compassion starts with mindfulness. It starts with turning toward and being with whatever difficult emotions or self-judgments we are present to in the moment. 

We then widen the lens to recognize our common humanity. We realize that all beings experience struggle and difficulty in their lives. We are never alone or isolated in our experience.

Out of a natural desire to alleviate suffering, we extend kindness inwardly. We treat ourselves with care, understanding, and support depending on what is most needed. 

If it feels difficult, it can be helpful to think of our inner child or how we would care for a child or a pet. To get in touch with compassion for our inner child, we may look at a picture of ourselves as a young child.

As we acknowledge and care for what’s happening inside of us, we can become - as research has shown - more motivated, more persistent, more resilient, and less self-focused. We also strengthen our capacity to be with and tend to the difficulty others are experiencing. 

What in your life calls for more self-compassion? 

Below are a few resources that I hope may be helpful for you. 

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources

[LISTENING, WATCHING & LEARNING] 

 

[PRACTICE]  

Guided Meditations 


Self-Compassion Break   

Adapted from Kristin Neff. 

Bring to mind a difficult situation in your life. Sense into the stress and discomfort of this situation and see if you can feel it in your body, heart, and mind. 

Step 1. Acknowledge the difficulty, stress, and/or pain of this moment. 
You may say to yourself: 

  • This hurts.

  • Ouch.

  • This is stress.

Step 2. Acknowledge that difficulty and pain/discomfort are a part of life. 
You may say to yourself: 

  • Other people feel this way.

  • I’m not alone.

  • We all struggle in our lives.

Now, put your hands over your heart and feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.

Step 3. Offer kindness to yourself. 
Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to show kindness to myself?” 
You may say to yourself: 

  • It’s ok. 

  • May I learn to accept myself just as I am. 

  • May I forgive myself. 

  • May I be strong.

  • May I be patient. 

If you’re having difficulty finding the right words, imagine that a good friend or loved one is facing the same challenge as you. What would you say to this person? What simple message would you like to share with your friend? Now offer that message to yourself. 

You can listen to a 10-min adapted version here. 
 

Anchor Phrase  

Choose a word or phrase that helps you stay connected to your intention and can support you through difficulty. You can use it anytime throughout the day when you encounter a challenging moment.

Some examples are:

  • It’s okay.

  • I can be with this. 

  • This, too, shall pass.

  • Yes, this hurts. May I stay open.

  • Yes, this hurts. May I be kind to myself.

  • Yes, this hurts. May I meet this moment with an open heart.


Gently say the phrase to yourself in that moment. You may also try supportive touch such as placing one or two hands on your heart, putting a hand on your cheek, holding one hand in your other hand in your lap, or giving yourself a hug. 

 

We were made for these times

 

If ever there's been a time for us to explore ways we can deepen our presence and compassion and nourish our connection with each other, this is it. 

I often think of my late grandmother who raised me. She lived through WWII and told me stories of great uncertainty, loss, deprivation, and suffering. She also told me stories of rebuilding after the war had ended. I think of all of my ancestors who survived past epidemics, natural disasters, and wars. And I am reminded that we all are part of something greater, of generations of survivors across history. We carry their resilience inside of us. 

I know many of us are experiencing a range of emotions - fear, anxiety, sadness, grief, frustration, anger, ... It's all normal as we're seeking to find our way through this. We can stop, take a deep breath, and acknowledge and honor our fear with compassion. We might say, "Thank you for trying to protect me. I am OK for now." And we might open to the resilience that has been passed down to us from our ancestors. 

Who and how do you want to be in this crisis? What's your sincere intention or aspiration? Take a moment to connect with your heart and listen for an answer. Let it be your North Star. Let it remind you of what matters most whenever you need it.

We were made for these times. 

Below are a few resources to support you.

With love,

Sarah-Marie

Resources

[PRACTICE] Self-Compassion Break

Adapted from Kristin Neff. 

Bring to mind a difficult situation in your life. Sense into the stress and discomfort of this situation and see if you can feel it in your body, heart, and mind. 

Step 1. Acknowledge the difficulty, stress, and/or pain of this moment. 
You may say to yourself: 

  • This hurts.

  • Ouch.

  • This is stress.

Step 2. Acknowledge that difficulty and pain/discomfort are a part of life. 
You may say to yourself: 

  • Other people feel this way.

  • I’m not alone.

  • We all struggle in our lives.

Now, put your hands over your heart and feel the warmth of your hands and the gentle touch of your hands on your chest. Or adopt the soothing touch you discovered felt right for you.

Step 3. Offer kindness to yourself. 
Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now to show kindness to myself?” 
You may say to yourself: 

  • It’s ok. 

  • May I learn to accept myself just as I am. 

  • May I forgive myself. 

  • May I be strong.

  • May I be patient. 

If you’re having difficulty finding the right words, imagine that a good friend or loved one is facing the same challenge as you. What would you say to this person? What simple message would you like to share with your friend? Now offer that message to yourself. 


[PRACTICE] Acknowledging Our Fear 

We can stop, take a deep breath, and acknowledge and honor our fear with compassion. We might say, "Thank you for trying to protect me. I am OK for now." And we might open to the resilience that has been passed down to us from our ancestors who have survived crises in the past. 


[POEM]

Allow by Danna Faulds 
There is no controlling life.
Try corralling a lightning bolt,
containing a tornado. Dam a
stream, and it will create a new
channel. Resist, and the tide
will sweep you off your feet.
Allow, and grace will carry
you to higher ground. The only
safety lies in letting it all in –
the wild with the weak; fear,
fantasies, failures and success.
When loss rips off the doors of
the heart, or sadness veils your
vision with despair, practice
becomes simply bearing the truth.